I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
