I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
