Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
