when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
