Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
