Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
