So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
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