In the future we'll all be gay
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
