well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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