Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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