I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
