oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
