I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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