Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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