Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My life is pants optional.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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