i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
