So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
