Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
