wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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