shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
