just tell him i said nine months
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
