yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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