K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize