in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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