if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
