When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you told grandpa to call you daddy
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He better not be in your backpack
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
