How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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