The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
