Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
