He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
