Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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