i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize