its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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