Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
last night I used snow as a chaser
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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