I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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