Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
sarcasm needs its own font
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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