Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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