She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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