Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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