Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
