Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
In America we eat man semen.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
