There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
