So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
