Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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