To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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