Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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