i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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