you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
