I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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