i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
