Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
