Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We are all done wearing pants today
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
