I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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