so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
