Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
