ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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