She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
