Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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