A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
